And then came you.

September 25, 2007 at 5:48 pm (being better, dinner, dreams, flirting, gay, happyness, improving, kiss, love, music)

Mood:  Superhero!

Song:   Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars

Is funny how things happen.

I was always bitching about how lonely I feel, and when I decided to feel lonely no more, I found him feeling lonely too.
And I’m amazed by the fact that two guys can be born and raised so far from each other and still being so alike.

We’ve been seeing each other every single day since we started to date.  Movies, dancing, park, restaurants, whatever: there’s always something fun to do.
And yesterday, he was a little bit quiet.  I asked him why, if something was wrong…  His face was blushing and suddenly he asked me to be his boyfriend.

And I said yes  😀

——

We’ll do it all, Everything on our own
We don’t need anything or anyone

If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much, they’re not enough

If I lay here, f I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told, before we get too old, show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time chasing cars around our heads
I need your grace to remind me, to find my own

If I lay here, f I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told, before we get too old, show me a garden that’s bursting into life
All that I am, all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see
I don’t know when, confused about how as well, just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

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New Version Of Me

September 21, 2007 at 2:21 pm (being better, dinner, dreams, flirting, friendship, Games, gay, happyness, improving, kiss, love, music, Shy, tea, town)

Mood: Happy

Song: New Version Of You

“Can you become a new version of you?
New wallpaper, new shoe leather, a new way home
I don’t remember
New version of you, I need a new version of me”

I’m overwhelmed by the direction my life has taken this last week.

First of all, I have a clique at work though they’re not co-workers, so I spend a lot of time with ’em.

Second, my boss noticed that I’ve been workin’ hard on these past holidays (in order to provide the services that we’re expected to give to our customers, even when we’re facing a “storm” caused by the 5-days National Holiday celebration). Work was done impeccably, and all the credit was mine to seize. He was so happy that we even talked about the possibility of a trip to the States (yay!)

And finally, I met a guy. Is kinda funny, cuz we met long time ago through internet (I told you that I was a gamer before, right?).
I’ve been playing Lineage 2 for a long time, and this guy was in my team, and we used to talk about stuff (tons of it. he knows me better than my dad, by now).
Last 19th all geeks that play on the Chilean server got together in a barbecue, and since I’m feeling more confident about myself, I went to the meeting.

It took just one second. I look at him and I stared. I was dazzled, this guy is handsome and sweet, and shy too. It was glorious, because we both were looking at each other’s eyes… We started talking, and we realized we have a lot in common. It was about sunset when we decided to keep talking in a quieter place.
Since my apartment was a 10 minutes walk away, we were on our path to get a nice cup of tea. We kept talking about music, life, movies, games, and everything was flowing naturally… Suddenly he took my hand, and he told me he thought that I was beautiful and rare, and he kissed me in the cheek… He was blushing and he was really, really nervous (and so was I, but I tried not to crumble and melt right there).

I just wanted to, so I held his hand for a few seconds, and I kissed him. His lips tasted so sweet, and he was trembling as I was; we kissed for a long time…

That day, officially we started dating. Today, we’re going out for pizza and beer, and then to a movie.

I AM HAPPY!!!

BTW: His name is Chris. And he has the most intense brown eyes I’ve ever seen.

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Was it impossible to float for a while???

September 3, 2007 at 11:06 pm (dinner, dissapointed, dreams, drinking, gay, kiss, love, music)

Just for making a difference?

I was getting interested in the guy. His beautiful eyes, his mouth, his way f thinking, the way he look…

But of course, things are not like we wanted. After that day I posted in here, we had a nice dinner. After that we went to my apartment, and keep on drinking some wine (you know I love it). We were sitting on a couch, and he got really close to me. I was nervous, I felt excited and nervous at the same time, is like being on a roller coaster… He never stopped looking at me, and I told him that he was making me nervous, though I couldn’t stop smiling. He told me to close my eyes, which I did just to feel his breath upon my lips. He softly kissed me, and it felt awesome, and weird and strange, and awesome again (first time… I was kissed!!!).

Of course, it couldn’t be that perfect…

He told me yesterday that he needed to talk with me. That he thinks tat I’m a great catch, that I’m one of the coolest guys ever and all that bullshit. Cuz he has a boyfriend.

” The torture won’t part you
Motherly breast won’t warm you
You fail and foam from your mouth
why is it so loud, this sound?

All the sense your are capable of
does not seem to save you
You heed the glance of a smile
Was it impossible to float for a while?

Restless is carrying fever
burning you to pieces
In search and need of a friend
Will I bow down to this in the end?

I lay in the hands of my maker
and I want to spend the rest of it awake
Why do I get the feeling they’ll break it
It’s a fight… it’s a fight…”

The Gathering – Amity

I’ll guess I’m gonna be ok.

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Communication

August 29, 2007 at 10:24 pm (being better, dinner, dreams, flirting, gay, happyness, love, music, partying, playing piano, tea)

The party ended around 5 in the morning, so I decided to get a cab and go to my apartment. And Dan (a beautiful, beautiful guy who stared at me the whole dinner) asked me: “would you give me a ride? I live 2 blocks from your apartment” (we talked about that like 2 hours ago). I looked at him and just nodded my head… He sat near to me in the cab, and started asking me some questions: “So J, where did you live before? Why did you move to the town? Did you like it so far? Have you been to this new gay club? Do you know this restaurant?” I wanted to him to be quiet, cuz I was so nervous; but at the same time, he was staring at me very concentrated while he was asking. I felt like he did care about knowing that information. the thing is that once I was ready to step out of the cab, something really moves insdide of me… “Do you want to have a cup of tea with me?” (I know, it’s lame to invite to have some tea, like if I was a 65 yrs. old lady :D), I barely could believe what I just did. We went into the apartment and keep not talking… and share the cup of tea and looking at each other…

He noticed the piano and ask me to play a piece. I told him: “Dan, is 5:30 in the morning, neighbor’s gonna kill me”, but something in my head told me that was the perfect occasion. So I played for him, for more than an hour.

At 7, he said to me that he was about leaving, and i was kinda sad about. He look at me, and gave me the biggest hug I’ve ever had. I’ve never been that close to a guy in my entire life! After he left, i kept on playing the piano for another hour.

Well… tomorrow we’re going to dinner, together.

See ya!

BTW, the song in this video, is his favorite song, and we were the only two who were singing it when it started to play. That’s why he looked at me in the first place.

The Cardigans – Communication

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Fiesta!

August 28, 2007 at 12:56 am (being better, dinner, drinking, friendship, gay, happyness, improving, music, partying, sex)

Last Saturday I went to a party.  One of my job mates invited me, and since the guy is really nice, I said it was ok.  I went to a mall and spent a lot of money gettin clothes (since i never go out of the apt, i have like regular clothes, nothing fancy) and some nice dinner, and some nice wine for the party  ( i totally love wine) 😀

I was waiting very nervous for the clock saying:  it’s 11 o clock, it’s time for partying !!! (If you didn’t notice before, I’ve never was invited before to a real party.  Just with my family).

The nice guy (his name is Cristian), told me to relax, cuz I was really nervous.  He went to my apt, drank a cup of wine with me, and the we just go.

The thing was a dinner party of his boyfriend, and all the people in there were gay.  Everyone, so cute, so polite, so looking at me like “he is the shy guy who Cristian was talking about”, and my face was reddish.  well, maybe purple 😀

After some cups of wine, we begin to eat, and then sharing some fun info about ourselves… you know, the wine and being nervous is not usually a good combo.  I was drinking wine like if it was water.  Thank Gods i’m really used to drink wine i was just feeling relaxed.  and then we started to play games :S

I dunno why you call this game, the one that you’re challenged to tell the truth or to do something else. Well, since I’m not a guy who likes to ridicule himself by doin stupid things, i was just obliged to speak and share.

Hahaha, after that, saying a lot of things that made me look like the biggest nerd ever (never kissed anyone, never had sex in my life, never had a boyfriend, had a crush on ny sister’s fiance, etc), we decided to dance (it was about 3 o clock in the morning).

This was my favorite song that day 😀

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